These Are the Days

Among the coping mechanisms I'm using to buck up and face each day as it faces me is connecting with my children and grandchildren.  Thank goodness for FaceTime!

 Yesterday while talking with my middle daughter, Maggie, who is my health care agent, she bravely and with unimaginable courage, asked me, "If you get the Coronavirus and you're really sick, what do you want me to do?  Because I won't be able to get down there (Florida) and even if I could, they won't let me in to see you."

 These are the days.

 My reply was that if it's the serious respiratory illness that has been hospitalizing people, please ask the medical staff to throw every thing at it. Self-assessment of my health is that I'm basically in very good shape "for someone my age" and my underlying condition, high blood pressure, is well managed on medication.  Should the respiratory illness bring on a heart attack or stroke or other catastrophic event that leaves me without the ability to know myself or those around me, then let it be.  Put the ventilator to better use.

 Then her daughter, 4 year old Georgia, and 30 month old Jameson needed Grandma's undivided attention.  Courageous, difficult conversation had and over.

 I teach a class about writing your health care directive.  From this class, here are the considerations to make when choosing your health care agent:

  • Do you trust this person to make tough decisions about:
    • stopping treatment
    • medical care and services
    • reviewing and releasing medical records
    • choosing health care professionals and organizations to provide care
    • moving you to another location for care
  • Will this person honor your wishes even if s/he doesn't agree with them?
  • Is this person emotionally strong enough to make difficult choices at a difficult time?
  • Can this person stand up for you even if other family members disagree?
If you would like a copy of the PowerPoint I use to teach this class, just email me.

Because NOW is the time to do this, if you haven't already.  Or if you have a Health Care Directive, NOW is the time to review it to ensure it reflects your current thinking on what you would like said to medical professionals if you're unable to speak for yourself.  You're staying at home, right?  You've already or will soon reach the point of what do I do now, right?  It's time to do this.  These are the days.

I was understandably taken aback when Maggie raised the subject about what do I want if I catch the Coronavirus.  But the more I thought about it yesterday, the prouder I was of her.  I already know what a truly amazing, strong woman and wife and mother and sister and cousin and niece and friend and nurse she is.  She has the most beautiful singing voice; in fact, at 10, she was the last person standing at a local audition for the new Mickey Mouse Club.  She sang "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid.  I get choked up every time I hear that song, remembering her sweet voice lofting through our house.  

And there she was yesterday, wrestling that beast of concern, taming it into a conversation that, hopefully, left both us with peace of mind.  

(ps--I'm also available for teleconferencing if you want me to walk you through the Health Care Directive process.)

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