I Am Grateful for All the Bad Things in the World

Today, as befitting the holiday, social media spills over with everything grateful.  Family.  Friends.  Good food and drink.  God's blessings in abundance.  For this once, I am glad to use the hashtaged #metoo.

In what might feel like a switch from the norm, after some consideration I have decided that I am grateful, too, for all the bad things in the world.  As opposed to being sucked under by them, I have decided to frame them to push me forward to be a better person.  To do good work every day.  To challenge myself when I am being judgmental and ask for a blessing on that person rather than thinking they are terrible or horrible or stupid or whatever negative adjective I all too often immediately apply. For me, at least, this is more difficult work than being caught in the miasma of negativity and feeling helpless.  I'd rather move past helpless to a space where possibilities exist.

 I've struggled with knowing I am a white woman of privilege for well over a decade.  I am grateful for the continuing to ask myself what I need to do about that.  (This is not a bad thing but not addressing it could be a bad thing so, in a roundabout way, let's call it a bad thing, I guess.)

Since the election last year, I've been asking myself what my role is, was, and continues to be in contributing to a polarized country. I am disturbingly dismissive of anyone who voted for Donald Trump.  I am grateful that POTUS is who he is, because it encourages me to look inward and question what I can do  to improve myself and, in doing so, perhaps make a positive impact on whoever I come in contact with.  If he had changed and become Presidential, that opportunity might not present itself with such clarity and routine.

Finally, and lest you think I'm bucking for sainthood with this embrace of the bad things helping me be a better person...I love the sensation of righteous indignation and frustration and furious snarkiness, if only for a few moments.  All the bad things in the world give me ample opportunities to actively engage and embrace these emotions.  For that, I am grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Cooking:
I will not be cooking today, deferring to the Second Thanksgiving (an official holiday) which will happen on Saturday.  This is the 30th year we have gotten together with our friends, the Smiths, or, as the Dan-o is referencing it, Thanksgiving XXX. 

 For the first decade or so, our friends the Rowinskys also joined us and we created the O'Smithsky clan, that oh so lovely, important, otherwise unduplicateable family of the heart.  The Rowinskys extended their family with Karen's marriage to Rick Gumpertz and their move a couple years ago to Sierra Madre, California to join her daughter Alissa and family and now her son Daniel and family.

There are a couple stories about Max, Karen's husband who died in 1994.  One Thanksgiving, Max likened the gathering of adults and 10 children (including the occasional exchange student) to a not so enjoyable summer camp experience, which morphed into Camp Max: No Pain, Wrong Camp.  Max also challenged us to adopt Native American names after seeing Dances With Wolves.  He insured we absorb the subtleties associated with these names.  At the time, Max was on anti-rejection drugs following a liver transplant; one side effect was he grew copious body hair.  Thus his name: Makes Buffalo Weep With Envy.  The then adolescent girls were dubbed Mall Walker 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.  Maggie, who still enjoyed the pleasures of the security blanket, became Carries Own Teepee.  Bill Smith, about the most intelligent person I know, was anointed Needs No Books.  And so it went.

There are some food traditions around the Second Thanksgiving.  We name the turkey.  I make the stuffing.  Jeanie mashes the potatoes  Tommy...oops, I mean He Who Must Not Be Named...concocts the green bean casserole.  Below is my recipe for stuffing, which came from my mother and is still one of my all time favorite foods.

Turkey Stuffing
for a large turkey; adjust amounts as needed for the size of your bird
1 stalk celery
2 bunches parsley
2 bunches green onion
2 bags stuffing mix
1 container reduced sodium chicken broth (when I was growing up, my mother would only use College Inn brand)
1-2 sticks of butter

1. Chop all the vegetables and herbs.  You can also add additional herbs as you choose.  This year I bought some sage to add in.
2. Melt 1 stick butter in large frying pan.  Add veggies in bunches to saute, adding butter as necessary (is there ever enough butter?  that's a rhetorical question, of course)
3. Heat the chicken broth in a saucepan.  It should be warm enough to cause the stuffing mix to soften, not too hot.
4. Pour stuffing mix into a large bowl.  Add sauteed veggies and mix.  Gradually add the chicken broth so that the bread softens and the stuffing holds together.
5. Begin by putting the stuffing in the butt cavity of the turkey (insert your own wildly inappropriate comments here, if desired).  Turn the turkey on its hind end so that the interior cavity is open.  Stuff that to the max.
6. Some years we put the end of a loaf of bread over the opening to hold the stuffing in.  This causes a problem if you want to taste the stuffing while cooking, which we always do.  The bread does expand as the stuffing cooks so you can get a fork in there, if you like.


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