Seeing clearly...all the time

 In a summer of adjustments, I've encountered another.

I have engaged in an end of the day ritual for many years.  At whatever time I'm basically calling it quits, meaning I'll be hanging out at home for the remainder of the day, I shut it down.  Take off the bra.  Take out the teeth (partial).  Take out the ears (hearing aids).  Pop out the contacts.

Which means, of course, I am then lacking support; gumming my food; asking, "What?" and turning up the volume on electronic devices; blurring my view of the world.

It's the last that is coming into particular focus at the present time. On August 31, I had the first of two cataract surgeries and by late that evening, my distance vision was almost frighteningly clear.  So much so that at the post op appointment, I tested 20/20.  It seems as if I'll continue to use cheaters to read--no biggie.

The biggie is being able to see the world around me in sharp, distinct color and shapes.  No more brain working overtime to use the fuzzy shapes, run them through a Rolodex of what they might be.  Nope, now I know with great certainty what I'm looking at.

Given that this is a very new experience and I imagine I will grow accustomed to it, currently I am finding this disconcerting.  What I have come to realize is that there was a symbolic measure to taking out the 'tacts at the end of the day.  Doing so offered a way to relieve the actions of the day, the lens of which I saw clearly through, and now make it fuzzy, muddy, almost as if absolving myself of the responsibility to perpetually be on guard, alert, aware.  I couldn't see it (whatever it was), consequently I felt comfortable placing myself at the end of the line regarding taking action.  

And now, from the time I open my right eye until I go to sleep, I see clearly.

You are welcome to sigh loudly at this post and say, "What did you think was going to happen when you had cataract surgery?"

What I didn't consider was that I would be seeing clearly...all the time.  Again, early on in the adjustment game, but I am missing the end of the day relief that removing corrective lenses offered.  Blurry sent a signal to my psyche that it was all over for the day.  

 Last night I offered prayers of thanksgiving for the miracles of modern medicine, and the skill of the ophthalmologist who did the surgery (complete with one shot to the eyeball at the end of the surgery, eliminating the need for multiple days of multiple drops post surgery).  Still.  I started wearing glasses when I was 10 years old and it turns out that blurry at the end of the day provided a warm fuzzy. 

This week I return for round 2, the left eye.  I'm hoping that the imbalance I feel with one eye corrected, one not will be an assist in the psychological adjustment to seeing clearly, all the time.  I'll let you know in a couple weeks.

Comments

  1. Sheila K.September 10, 2023 at 5:50 PM

    When I had my first eye done, I also felt that something was "off". Too clear, too bold, too bright. Very disconcerting. The nurse told me a wonderful story about "Monet's cataracts" wherein Monet's paintings began to change color as he aged, and as he gradually began to see the world through a yellow/orange haze. I guess his paintings would show the world as he saw it. I wonder how he would have reacted to 20/20 vision.

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