Finding the Ability to Cruise in My Lane, vers. 2
I'd been feeling rather peckish, emotionally, the past week or so. Yesterday I decided to write a blog post about what I thought was precipitating these feelings. Fortunately, good sense prevailed and I chose not to publish what I wrote because it was, frankly, pretty damn snarky.
Since I'm on a never ending quest to learn and apply life's lessons, I gave that decision some extended thought after not hitting the publish button. It boiled down to a couple things and these I think are worth a share, as opposed to the rant yesterday's blog turned out to be.
First, everyone is entitled to their own feelings and emotions, including you. In this case, including me. All those negatives that had been boiling and percolating and bubbling and causing toil and trouble--they were, still are, authentic. While I am not a "I have a perfect right to..." type, I will ascribe to having a perfect right to feel this way. Until feeling this way starts to get in my way and, subsequently, everyone else's way. I pray for the proverbial Hemingway grace under pressure because it can be very ugly for not only me but all in my orbit when I don't exhibit same.
Second, when it gets to be too much, yes, it's too much but I believe it's my responsibility to do something about it. Point to the person you have control over in your life. You're pointing at yourself, right?
Third, there are plenty of established, scientifically proven methods of working to dissuade oneself to feel pissy but you have to first decide to use them. It took me a while to get there. I did a lot of running at the mouth with the angels who surround me. Saying, "I don't care" when you do care is not authentic and yet sometimes that's the best you're going to get.
And then I wrote. It was cathartic. It was a purge. I physically felt lighter when I hit the save key. There are things that need to be said, not necessarily shared. This was one of them.
Lesson learned? At least this round.
Since I'm on a never ending quest to learn and apply life's lessons, I gave that decision some extended thought after not hitting the publish button. It boiled down to a couple things and these I think are worth a share, as opposed to the rant yesterday's blog turned out to be.
First, everyone is entitled to their own feelings and emotions, including you. In this case, including me. All those negatives that had been boiling and percolating and bubbling and causing toil and trouble--they were, still are, authentic. While I am not a "I have a perfect right to..." type, I will ascribe to having a perfect right to feel this way. Until feeling this way starts to get in my way and, subsequently, everyone else's way. I pray for the proverbial Hemingway grace under pressure because it can be very ugly for not only me but all in my orbit when I don't exhibit same.
Second, when it gets to be too much, yes, it's too much but I believe it's my responsibility to do something about it. Point to the person you have control over in your life. You're pointing at yourself, right?
Third, there are plenty of established, scientifically proven methods of working to dissuade oneself to feel pissy but you have to first decide to use them. It took me a while to get there. I did a lot of running at the mouth with the angels who surround me. Saying, "I don't care" when you do care is not authentic and yet sometimes that's the best you're going to get.
And then I wrote. It was cathartic. It was a purge. I physically felt lighter when I hit the save key. There are things that need to be said, not necessarily shared. This was one of them.
Lesson learned? At least this round.
Comments
Post a Comment