TMI: Getting Drunk on Hatred

I've been arguing with myself all day about writing this and finally decided to go ahead, but try to keep it short.

 Yesterday was our 46th wedding anniversary.  The weather was pretty close to perfect.  Our daughters and their children all came over (He Who Must Not Be Named and family are at the Jersey shore with my daughter-in-law's family).  We sat in the backyard, ate, laughed, played with the kids, held the baby boys, watched the kids play with each other.  It doesn't get too much better than that.

 Other than, around 5 p.m., I found that I was feeling short tempered and crabby.  Crabby enough that I wondered if I had taken my daily antidepressant; I had.  Everything was getting on my last nerve, especially things that absolutely shouldn't have.

 And then it dawned on me, and it felt like a smack upside the head.

 The shootings in El Paso and Dayton (regardless of what Ohio city POTUS thinks the shootings occurred in).

 Yep.  PTSD.

 (If interested, here's a link to the previous blog which explains this is more detail.)

 And what I did to handle it was consume an entire bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon with our Steak Sunday™ dinner.  And eat about a half dozen delicious Delacre cookies with the photos of the King and Queen of Belgium (the Queen waved at me during the military parade celebrating Belgium National Day, conveniently held while we were visiting our dearest Elena, George and Nicky; the Spousal Unit™ says he actually heard the Queen say, "Look!  I'm waving at Mary O'Brien!) on the tin, as they are celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary.

 Yesterday, I tucked everyone even remotely involved in the shootings into my heart and prayers.  This way, when I say my evening prayers, I don't forget anyone because you know how aging brains are.  I might pull someone out for special attention as needed, but prefer to cut the wider swath.

 Here's the thing.  I'm not sure I even prayed last night due to the effects of the alcohol.  

 Lousy PTSD.

 I'll do better today.

 I hope our legislators will do better today, too.

 Enough.

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